


Poems by the hush

by Thehush



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Cutting and depression, Friendship, Hate, Love, Romance, Taged when necessary, Tags may vary, Uncertainty, some triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thehush/pseuds/Thehush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Original, free form poems</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

These are mine, please don't steal. No one likes a plagiarist


	2. I dont want to be a lady

I don't want to be fancy  
or dressed up all girly.  
I want to wear my  
ripped up jeans  
and my old band tee.

I want to hang  
with the guys,  
and just be myself.

Not being judged,  
or making people think  
that there is anything  
more to us,  
than a sibling love.

I want to ride  
my skateboard,  
and hang with  
the people like me.

Give me anime  
and junk food all day.  
Not social media  
and diets.

I want to be able to  
eat a double cheeseburger,  
without judgment or a glare.

I don't want to be a lady,  
and wear makeup  
and high heels.  
I don't like pink  
or frilly things.

I just want to blare  
my music loud,  
and hang with the monsters  
under my bed.

The world has gotten on  
well enough,  
without me acting that way.  
But if you want  
to try and change me,  
I will put up one hell of a fight


	3. Undecided

I cannot stand  
another hand  
upon my arm;  
trying to pull me  
down a path  
they have chosen for me.

All these voices,  
all these faces,  
forcing me one way  
or the other.

Everyone has made  
their mind up  
on where my life  
will lead me.  
Everyone has  
a set view of me.

They focus and fixate  
on a single aspect  
of who i am inside.

All the time  
spent spinning me around  
till i am dizzy inside and out,  
and have no idea  
which path is right  
for me.

All this time,  
and they rarely thought  
of what i would like  
and of my opinions.

It is too late now,  
my mind is too far gone  
into listioning to you,  
I have no idea  
and i don't know  
if i ever will  
know the path for me.

They push and pull,  
and tug and drag  
me up and down  
a hill of uncertainty.

Once upon a time,  
I knew the way.  
But as with every story worth knowing,  
something went amiss  
and i lost my way.

Every once in awhile,  
they remember i am here.  
They ask things of me,  
and my lack of experience shows.

So they take charge again,  
and i am pushed back;  
Back into the stream  
of uncertainty.

Always behind the curtain,  
hardly ever seen  
for what i truly am,  
a lonly girl hiding behind a mask,  
just trying to find her way


	4. Broken hearted hall

The quiet hush  
when the doors open ;  
The whispers when  
they see my face.

Words trickle to my ears  
as i walk by.

Secrets kept  
from the subject,  
but never before  
was the subject me.

I freeze and stutter,  
they snicker at me.  
I blush and run ;  
the noise roars back up,  
the moment I  
am out of sight.

Stupid me,  
silly me,  
now I've stoked the flames.

I see him now;  
I see him clear,  
walking down the hall;  
Walking with his head  
down low,  
good!

As i walk,  
his head shoots up  
and immediately,  
it is thrown back to the side.

*Wack*

The blood flows fast  
to fill the space.  
The space of a  
hand to face.

Curses to him,  
slander his name,  
but in the end,  
I shall take the blame.

For trusting him;  
Beliving in him;  
Thinking he could change.

His friends are staring  
but i don't care,  
they have all  
done enough.

I scream for him to go,  
abd watch as he runs off.  
His friends are still in shock.

I don't realize  
how bad he feels right now,  
or so they say to me.

He doesn't know  
how my broken heart  
has been shattered before.

This was the first  
time in years,  
that i had felt whole  
until now,  
is what I respond with,  
before I walk off as well.


	5. lazy

Don't want to move,  
don't want to get up.  
I just want to lay here all day.

But now I want  
to eat something,  
but the kitchen is too far.

Now I need to use the restroom,  
but it is on the other side  
of the hall.

The show is boreing,  
and the commercials suck,  
but the remote is all the way over there,  
taunting me from the table.

I don't want to move,  
and I don't want to get up,  
but the world plots my demise.

Oh well,  
if I don't move  
then it must not be  
that important.


	6. These scars i call courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this may trigger, please don't read or stop reading if you get triggered. Please dont hurt yourself

How could you think  
these marks on me  
are a form of weakness?

Why do you  
taunt and bully me  
when the scars are still so fresh?

Don't you knoe  
that i may have put them there,  
but you are the ones  
who caused them.

I slice and dice  
my fat and ugly skin  
night and day  
So that i don't hurt you  
when you look at me.

So that you don't  
have to see  
the worst parts of me.

Why do you laugh,  
when you know  
that i am far from okay?

What makes you think  
that you have any right,  
to laugh at my misery?

Do you think  
it will help?  
Or are you trying  
to cause me more pain?

You see them bright as day,

the furrows i have dug  
deep into my skin,  
so why do you insist  
on ridiculing me  
for finding my release?

Why do you dig  
and claw at the  
scars and furrows and crevices  
in my heart?  
In my soul?  
In my very being?

You caused this,  
you and your words,  
and your actions,  
I may have picked my blade,  
but you are the one  
who pushed me to it.

Maybe you would not laugh  
if i took my razor  
to your arns instead of mine.

But to harm another  
is considered a crime,  
when to harm oneself  
is laughed and mocked at.

No not by a few,  
the ones who truly care  
and the ones who bare the same marks.

They will stay with me,  
and bare the world of today.

So if they laugh  
either way,  
why do we see  
our scars as marring  
on our skin?

If they will laugh  
one way or another,  
let us bare our marks  
with pride.

Because they testify  
the hardships we've gone through.  
They are like a badge  
of courage to help us through.

To keep us warm  
on these cold and lonely nights.

And though I don't  
smile and encourage  
you to hurt yourself,  
I will nod and respect  
your choices in life.

I see these marks,  
and I know you are strong  
to be standing here today,  
and though I wish you would stop,  
I will love you either way.


	7. Whipped in love

____

They see the way  
I look at you,  
that smile in my eyes.

They laugh and joke  
about my love  
for you.

I just roll my eyes  
and imagine what  
you would say,  
if you even had a clue  
of what you do to me.

I love the freckles  
on your face,  
like a constellation  
in the sky.  
I've tried so many times,  
but can never count them all.

The guys all mock me for  
the way i could go on  
about the things  
you do i find endearing.

How I love the way you laugh,  
Like there are no troubles  
in this world we live in,  
or maybe just  
in spite of them.

How you can slip  
into a book so thick,  
and zone out of time and space.

I love you with your  
half-smile,  
The way you sing off key,  
and the fact that you are so oblivious  
to how beautiful  
you are to me.

You hid your face  
behind your curtain of hair,  
as if it will  
help you disapear.

You wear makeup to  
hide those freckles  
I am always counting.

And everytime  
someone flirts  
or pays a compliment to you,  
you blush like a rose  
blooming in spring.

My friends all tease  
whenever you aren't around,  
and sometimes even then,  
just to watch me  
jump to your aid  
or worry you will hear.

They call me whipped,  
but I don't mind.  
Just as long as I  
can see you smile,  
they can call me all the words  
that mean I care for you.


	8. Calm

Calm down my dear,  
there is nothing to fear.  
Everything is okay,  
I am right here.

Stop the tears,  
I will hold you,  
'till all the world  
has calmed itself again.

I have got you hun;  
do not be afraid,  
I will never  
let you go.

Stop your trembling,  
I will block  
the world away.

Liston to my voice;  
focus on my touch;  
close your eyes my darling,  
and try to get some rest.

When you open your eyes,  
the world will be the same,  
but i will be  
by your side  
to keep the darkness at bay,  
for as long as I can.

I cannot change  
the way you have been treated;  
the things you have seen  
or the names been called;  
the people of the world  
who try to beat down  
the good people around.

I cannot stop  
the darkness inside us all,  
but i can catch you  
if ever you fall.

I will not desert you,  
I will not forsale you,  
and I will not abandon you  
unless you say the words.

Focus on me now,  
and block the world away;  
close your eyes  
and lay down your head;  
The world will be the same  
until you make it change.

When you awake,  
you will see  
the power that you hold.

You can do  
incredible things,  
when you set to it  
your heart and soul.

Calm your breath  
and trust in me,  
I will never let you go.


	9. tears inside

They drip and drop  
all around,  
all around inside.  
But no matter how  
hard it hurts me,  
I can't let them out.

The wall;  
The dam;  
The force that keeps them inside  
will not move an inch.

It is good,  
but also bad  
because no one knows  
the pain inside.

It hurts to feel  
and not be able to release,  
release the sorrow I have felt  
since that fateful February day.

I feel the tears  
fall inside,  
but why won't they  
show themselves?

Why do they torment  
when I feel so good?

They love the missary it seems,  
and they love the wall  
of feelings deep inside.  
They build up,  
but refuse to come crashing out.

The prolongment hurts  
I think,  
more than the pain itself


	10. Fine

I'm fine,  
just grand.  
Everything is  
fine.

Frequently Involving  
Negative Emotions.

Look into my eyes,  
tell me if I  
look ok;  
Because I will just  
say I'm fine.

Falling Into  
Neverending  
Exasperation,  
from the life I do live.

Failing classes?  
I'm fine.  
Lost your friends?  
Fine as well.  
No one to turn to,  
and your life is in ruins?  
Fine as the sun  
on a cloudy day.

Or that is what I  
will say to myself

 

The word is used  
all the time  
to not only mask  
our pain from others,  
but to convince ourselves  
that everything  
is okay.

I'm fine  
I say with a smile,  
and they smile  
and carry on their way.  
Never once  
do they see  
the true meaning in my voice


	11. The Morningstar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an unconventional look towards Lucifer. It is obviously going to be a little religious, don't freak, it's your choice to read, I am not making you do it.

Falling  
Burning  
down from the sky.

The favored one  
above all his brothers,  
comes down to earth,  
forsaken by his Father.

He who is  
almighty,  
He who is the creator.

Lucifer but  
loved too much  
Him above all.

Satan would not  
bow to us,  
and why should he?

We have beaten  
eachother down,  
Stolen, cheated, and  
Lost the love  
He had for us.

Why are we  
so much more  
worthy,  
than the angel God  
loved above all  
His other creations?

And when we  
are cast away  
by mortals, same as us,  
do we deserve tears,  
more than the original son  
disowned not just by  
family,  
But all others?

He was the first  
to feel the heartbreak,  
so when you ask for  
forgiveness,  
remember him,  
and how he knows  
better than all others  
your pain and loneliness.

He was  
the Morningstar,  
now locked  
beneath the Earth.

He is the original sinner,  
but was it true sin?  
To love one person,  
your Father above,  
over the ants  
crawling below, laying  
waste to their precious  
world?

I feel sorrow,  
not for us  
and our misuse  
of beauty,  
But for the fallen  
angel,  
we sometimes forget  
was one.

When you next  
feel as if  
the world is in ruins,  
pray to the one  
who saw it coming  
from the start.


	12. Seasons

The flowers are in bloom;  
The creeks trickle along;  
Birds are bchirping in the trees;  
Spring is in the air.

The air is sweltering ;  
the people wither and sweat ;  
School is out for three   
Long months ;  
Summer melts on through. 

Leaves are dropping ;  
Pumpkins have fully grown ;  
School is back in session ;  
Fall has come again. 

Snow now falls ;  
Hot cocoa steams ;  
School is out for but a few   
Weeks.   
Winter shivers through. 

Seasons come,  
and seasons go.   
Everyone loves or hates   
the ones they do,   
yet to each his or her own.


	13. I will remain

You are my best friend,  
and if this is the end,  
you can count on me  
to help pull you through.

Never fear  
for I am here,  
to chase away the dark.

If you cry  
I'll be by your side  
to whipe the tears away.

When the world has ended  
and there is nothing left;  
When all faith has been btoken  
and there is no more trust,

I will remain  
by your side;  
I will regain your faith  
and make up  
for any and all  
my mistrustful deeds.

If the world  
is ending,  
then you are no longer  
there with me.


	15. Feelings

What is this  
feeling deep inside?

Why do I  
feel this way,  
when I never have  
before?

I am not even  
sure of you  
feel the way I do.

You give me hints  
and play along,  
but if that  
is all this is,  
just jokes and playfulness,  
I am not sure  
what would happen.

You are so sweet  
and kind to me,  
and I cannot seem  
to get enough.

What is this  
and where did  
it come from?  
Why do I  
feel this way  
when I never have  
before?

I am afraid;  
Afraid of what  
comes next.

Do you feel  
the way I do?  
Do you even  
know what this is?

A smile lights up  
my face whenever  
we talk;  
I can't stop it,  
... and I don't think  
I want to.

Please tell me if  
you feel the same,  
or if it was  
all just a joke.

I worry so  
about you,  
more than I think  
I should,  
so please tell me  
what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He found out! Oh my god, i am so freaking happy!!!!


End file.
